Tuesday's TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability

 I'm feeling ambitious today about my new job responsibilities, now that Ella Publishing Co. has a parent company. (Everything's going great except for that unreasonable curfew. *eye roll* Parents. Who needs 'em. ;)

One of my hopes is that the new EPC/BPC partnership will free up more time for my poor, neglected blog. And so far, it looks good. On to today's topic...

One thing that's been a big part of my life lately is the huge library of TED talks: "Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world." TED stands for "Technology, Entertainment, Design" and also boasts the tagline "Ideas worth spreading."

I'm about to spread some of those ideas in my own little way, once a week, on Tuesdays.

One of my very favorites is by Dr. Brene Brown, titled "The Power of Vulnerability," which has been viewed 5.8 million times and is absolutely worth every minute you devote to it today.

 

My Takeaways:

• I love the phrase "lean into the discomfort," which Brown picked up from the social-work world. It's natural to turn away, brace ourselves, and hide when we feel uncomfortable. But that keeps us from connecting at times when either we OR the other person is in desperate need to connect.
• To be connected, you have to be SEEN as you really are, which means allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
• To live wholeheartedly, you must live with courage, compassion, connection, and vulerability.
• If you're not gentle and compassionate with yourself, you can't be gentle and compassionate with others.
• While vulnerability is the source of pain and loneliness, it is also the birthplace of love, joy, and creativity. And you can't numb one side without numbing the other.
• And the biggest lesson, the one that I want to absorb into my whole soul and instill into my daughter every minute of her life (and my stepson, although he's 18 so he already knows everything :) is this:

"You are imperfect and wired for struggle,
but you are worthy of love and belonging."

These are life-changing concepts, people. And I'm delving into them deeper by reading one of her books, The Gifts of Imperfection (which incidentally, for you scrapbooking folks, has a promotional blurb from Ali Edwards on the back cover!).

Yeah, I'm a bit late to the Brene Brown party. I stopped by her blog years ago, in a more cynical and flippant time in my life, and it felt a bit too New-Agey to me back then. But now, I can't get enough. She is real. She is authentic. She is grounded. She is funny. Four of my very favorite qualities.

 

A Personal Aside

My husband, Travis, and I have found a new solution to the 45 minutes (or more!) we often spend browsing through Apple TV or Netflix to find a movie we're both in the mood to watch at the same time on weekends. It is stunning how rare it is for us to just sit down and fall into a movie we both want to watch. It always takes much haggling, much negotiating, and much debate over who got more points for the last movie we watched together.

Him: "I better be getting serious points for watching this movie; this is totally a chick flick!"

Me: "No it is NOT. Let us examine the baby-to-gun ratio in this film. There have been exactly two babies and at least five dozen guns. So it is a dude movie. So I get the points for watching it."

Him: "BUT if you factor in the kissing to explosions ratio, there have been five kissing scenes and only two explosions..." No one ever wins.

I'll be in the mood for drama when he wants a comedy. Or he'll be in the mood for a documentary when I'd rather watch a British period romance (which, let's be honest, is any time of any day).

So if we find ourselves starting down the movie preview rabbit hole, we pull out our iPhones and browse for a new TED to watch, which we can push instantly to our TV monitor, thanks to Apple TV. Most TED talks are only 10-20 minutes long, and we've realized that we'd rather have our minds blown four times in a row, on four diverse topics, than spend an hour waffling over the available movie choices.

So what about you? Are you familiar with TED? What's your favorite? If you have a favorite or two, please include links!

*Note:  accidentally published this instantly instead of in the a.m. And rather than unpublish it now only to republish it tomorrow, let's enjoy a bit of Tuesday on Monday, okay?*

Comments

[Liz]

I love love love TED talks! There are some mind boggling ones. I used to play some of the more interesting ones to my high school students on Friday afternoons. I think my favourite is the talk on happiness by Dan Gilbert- fascinating stuff. Fairly direct application to scrapping too I think.

[Margot/NZ]

Hey, it's already Tuesday here in NZ!
I am so impressed with TED but keep forgetting to visit (what a great idea to share once a week - I'm with ya!). Last time I was looking I found a hugely memorable piece from a health researcher who was caring for her father who has Alzheimers. The piece is "How I'm Preparing to Have Alzheimers" and it's just amazing.
And, as someone with two first-degree relatives with the disease, also relevant and empowering.

[Bec Kilgore]

Love Brene and can't wait to read her new book.

[Angie]

Lucky students! Ill look for the happiness talk. Thanks for the tip!

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[Angie]

Thanks Margot! Ive seen the link to that one before but have never watched it. Adding it to my list...

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[Angie]

Me too! Isnt it out this week?

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[Mel]

So, I haven't watched the TED talk, though I love your idea of watching some with my husband instead of whatever we're currently watching on Netflix. (Right now, Burn Notice.)

But on the subject of Brene Brown, I just bought her book I Thought It Was Just Me, which I'm already enjoying, and I've also started reading The Gifts of Imperfection. I don't have (or make) as much time to read as I'd like, but I'm really committed to reading Brene's books because I've heard such good things, and I know they'll help me in my pursuit of peace and happiness in the midst of a couple of really hard years.

Good to have you back in the blogsphere! :)

[Debra]

Hi Angie, I've seen Brene's TED talk about three times...ammaaazzzinng. I've watched a few others too. Again, amazing. Andrew and I listened to a guy talk about 'what you can learn from spaghetti sauce' or something like that and when it finished I said, "I love smart people!" Thanks for sharing your insights on her talk - I recognised everything you said. Fab.

[Angie]

Thank you, Melissa! Ive heard good things about I Thought It Was Just Me...maybe that will be the next one I pick up. Best of luck in your hard times...

[Angie]

I think Ive watched it three or four times, too!

[Diane]

This is a GREAT idea - it solves a couple of problems for me. One, I don't have to go out to get a movie. Two, it doesn't cost extra money.
A couple of memorable ones for me are - Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity - http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
and the ones on Fractals - BLOW YOUR MIND AMAZING!!! - by Benoit Mandelbrot and Rond Eglash
This isn't a TED talk but it is TOTALLY worth watching - it revolutionised my thoughts.
Jonah Lehrer: The Origins of Creative Insight and Why You Need Grit - http://vimeo.com/45162748

[Angie]

I love the Ken Robinson ones! Thanks for the other recommendations as well!

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[Katy]

Ooohhhh... One of my favorite things in the world..TED! A high school class,ate runs a TEDx event here in my town.. (ipad wont let me load them all...email if you want more)
Ok, some faves...
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/robert_lang_folds_way_new_origami.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/doris_kearns_goodwin_on_learning_from_past_presidents.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/taylor_mali_what_teachers_make.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/clifford_stoll_on_everything.html

[Angie]

Thanks Katy! This is a gold mine!

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