It was 1991, and I was in Mrs. Springer's 9th-grade English class.
I adored Mrs. Springer. She was bold, funny, independent, and wise—and she once told my mother I was "brilliant," which you'll think was a very charitable thing for her to say after you hear the rest of this story. To this day, I can clearly recall her infectious laugh, her intense red hair, her flair for the dramatic, and the creepy stories she told us on Halloween after darkening the classroom windows with black butcher paper.
We had been given an assignment to write an essay or a book report, with instructions to use Roman numerals to designate each section of the report. Over the course of the year, I remember writing about Shane, Oliver Twist, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Pride & Prejudice, and a biography of "Nazi hunter" Simon Weisenthal—but this report could have been about any or none of them. (Actually I know it wasn't about Oliver Twist, because that assignment was an oral report, which my friends and I turned into an embarrassing white-girl rap: "Oliver, Oliver Twist. Do the O-O-Oliver Twist!")
In any case, after struggling to format the assignment according to her instructions (using my family's rudimentary word-processor) and finally giving up, I handed in my finished report and said, "I'm sorry. I just used regular numbers to mark my sections. I couldn't find the Roman numerals on the keyboard I have at home."
Miraculously, Mrs. Springer did NOT laugh. She didn't even chuckle. She just smiled, nodded, and accepted my report. Her face didn't betray even a hint of mockery—a true testament to her acting skills. Bless Mrs. Springer; I don't think I could have done it!
It was only later, on my own, that I realized my humiliating error. And just look at me now:
I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII - XVIII - XIX - XX - XXI - XXII - XXIII - XXIV -XXV - XXVI - XXVII - XXVII - XXIX - XXX
So, tell me: are you inspired to write about a similar event from your past? In your journal or on a scrapbook page, share your thoughts about a teacher whose influence you still feel today. Or write about something embarrassing you said or did in junior high school. Or collect a list of things you should have known by a certain age but somehow didn't—like the fact that pickles were once cucumbers, or that islands don't float, or that chicken-fried steak isn't chicken.
Or you can just enjoy a little laugh at my expense and go on about your day.
Don't worry, I just learned this year that chicken fried steak isn't chicken... and I'm 26. :)
Posted by: Ashley | February 04, 2010 at 06:27 PM
My math teacher for four years of middle and upper school was Dr. Collins. He was Jewish. I knew this. But for some absent-minded reason, I gave him a Christmas ornament of the holy family in 11th grade. He accepted it graciously, and I left the classroom. I'd taken about ten steps down the hall when the inappropriateness of the gift hit me. I couldn't look the man in the eye for MONTHS and blushed in embarrassment every math period thereafter.
Posted by: Susan Raihala | February 04, 2010 at 06:30 PM
That's hysterical!
There's been a lot of reminiscing on facebook the past few days about when I was in youth group at church. There are a lot of stories to tell!
Posted by: Misti | February 04, 2010 at 06:36 PM
Chicken-fried steak isn't chicken? Well, there you go! I'm really old and didn't know that but then I've never had chicken-fried steak.
Posted by: Elizabeth | February 05, 2010 at 05:32 AM
Love it! I have so many of those moments I could probably fill a book. I do want to get going on my personal history. I guess those stories will come out sooner or later.
Posted by: Stefani Meyer | February 05, 2010 at 06:24 AM
I was going to go about my day, but now I have to google some stuff...Islands don't float? Chicken-fried steak isn't chicken?
Posted by: Kelli | February 05, 2010 at 08:08 AM
Ha ha! Too funny. If it makes you feel better, there ARE floating islands in existence.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floating_island
Posted by: Colleen | February 05, 2010 at 12:42 PM
Oh I loved Mrs Springer!!!! And the O-O-Oliver Twist! What a great laugh of some good memories.
Remember the big ol announcement: THE EAGLE HAS LANDED...? It took me months before I found out what the heck that meant!
Holly Minson-Black
Posted by: Holly Black | February 05, 2010 at 12:55 PM
Okay, I'm just here to laugh at you, Angie. Sorry. :P
I'll have to give your questions some thought. I'm sure when a story does come to me, I will be inspired to put it on a scrapbook page. That's usually the way it goes for me. :)
Posted by: Barb | February 05, 2010 at 02:52 PM
Mine, which doesn't embarass me so much as annoy me, was that I could never figure out why my DH from NC liked the Washington Redskins, when Washington is all the way across the country from NC! I was 30 before I found out they play in Washington DC, and it still bugs me (I'm 35 now) that they don't call themselves the Washington DC Redskins- because they AREN'T from the state of Washington, and we west-coasters think of the state when someone says Washington.
Does that make you feel any better?
Posted by: Nicky Hurt | February 06, 2010 at 08:56 AM
wait. chicken fried steak isn't chicken??? what in the world is it??
Posted by: courtney walsh | February 08, 2010 at 06:25 AM
When I was little I thought that the music I heard on the radio was performed live (and miraculously perfect each time!) by the musicians. Ironic twist: I married a DJ!
Posted by: Abbie | February 09, 2010 at 09:59 PM
I had a dream to start my own firm, nevertheless I did not have got enough amount of money to do that. Thank God my colleague suggested to use the home loans. Hence I took the car loan and realized my desire.
Posted by: CAMACHOMICHELLE26 | March 09, 2010 at 03:10 PM